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The Food War
Plot Summary When a mysterious ship is seen heading towards Foodcourtia, Tark is sent to investigate, while having to deal with Vira along the way. When Tark and Crux discover a tank of poisoned donut batter, chaos ensues. Part One: The Food Narrator: One day on Planet Foodcourtia, Jinkz: *Is in the kitchen of Jinkz' Groovey Grub* Jinkz: *Watches a screen showing the recordings of a spy camera he secretly set up in Dunkz' Donuts* Dunkz to an alien customer: Having a good meal, sir? Alien: mnnh Hmm! Dunkz: Hey, Clevi! Clevi: Yeah? Dunkz: Can you go pick up the new delivery of donut sprinkles out back? Clevi: Okay.. Dunkz: Thanks! *walks into the kitchen* Clark: *Is making donuts as usaul* Dunkz: Hey Clark, It's your lunch break.... Want me to take over here? Jinkz: *Watches* Clark: Mmm...no thanks. I'm not hungry. Dunkz: Ok... Just let me know if you decide to leave later today.. Clark: Okay. inkz: Oh, you sure won't be hungry. Dunkz: *starts preparing donut batter* Jinkz: Kobob...You know what to do... Kobob: Yes. Kobob: *Sneaks over to Jinkz' Groovey Grub and hides in the cupboard*Kobob: *Throws a sandwich at Clark and runs into a different hiding place* Dunkz: Who was that? Clark: *Picks sandwhich off face* What the? Dunkz: I dunno... Someone ran in here and threw a sandwich at you, then left... Clark: Yeah, that was really weird... Dunkz: *picks up the sandwich* Jinkz.....Jinkz: He's getting a hint... Jinkz: He's getting a hint... Kobob: *Throws a sandwich at Clark again and then throws one at Dunkz and runs back to Jinkz' Groovey Grub *Clark: *Facepalm* Clark: Clevi! *To Clevi* Clevi: *Comes over and drops donut delivery stuff in the kitchen* Yes? Clark: Go into security mode! Jinkz: Oh, my newest plan isn't lame... You're gonna regret ever destroying my machine... Dunkz: Put up the splodey system... Code it for any of Jinkz's employees. *he puts up the security system* Dunkz: *calls Jinkz* Hello? This is Dunkz.... Jinkz: WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Dunkz: Why did one of your employees just come in here and throw sandwiches at us? Kobob: Yeah! Dunkz: Uh... Why? Jinkz: What do you mean? Dunkz: I mean why did one of your guys break in and assult us with... Provolone? Kobob: They were PB & J, not Provolone! Dunkz: Whatever... Jinkz: Anyway, you are an idiot, and your restaurant is soon to be destroyed!!! Dunkz: Pretty sure that's illegal...... Clark: Jinx, you iditot! Destroy us, and you destroy yourself! Dunkz: Yeah, pretty much.... Jinkz: I'm going to make everyone hate your restaurant and want to come to MINE!!! Dunkz: No... I don't think so... We put up a security system, and there's no WAY you're getting in here! Jinkz: Oh, I'M not going in there! Neither are my employees! Dunkz: You're a whole lotta talk, Jinkz... What are the chances this is any different? Clevi: About 3/67... Dunkz: Huh... Higher than I though... Jinkz: You just wait! Dunkz: For WHAT, exactly? Jinkz: Trust me, you'll regret the day you mest with Jinkz the J-j-j-...Um....GAH! YOU MADE ME LOOSE TRACK OF YOUR FACE! *Throws a sandwich at the screen* Dunkz: Good bye, crazy. *ends transmission* Thast: Dunkz, what now? Dunkz: I suppose we prepare for the worst... Dunkz: Monitor all the deliveries, scan them every time... And same with the customers. Jinkz: Hehehe, I've got a special treat for Dunkz. customer: Hey, can I get s'more mayonnaise over here? Jinkz: KOBOB! Kobob: I'm on it! *Throws mayonnaise at the customer*Customer gets hit in the face: OW! Rrrgh... *walks out of the building* Irken Elite Tark: *Walks into the building, suspicously wearing uniform as if on-duty* Kobob: EVERYTHING ON IT?! *Immediately gets to work on it* Gleerp: Ok... That'll be 16.98 monies. Tark: *Pays* Kobob: *Comes out with the sandwich* Gleerp: Ok, your food will be right out. We'll call when your order is ready... Gleerp: *hands him the sandwich* Here you go.*The sandwich is a big tower, there is a ton of condiments and meat on it, as well as cheese, a calculator, a hand, and a cheese grater* Tark: Umm...okaay then *Takes sandwhich and walks to table* Random guy *walks up*: Mind if I sit here? Tark: Nah, it's fine. Man: Voot Cruisers have two engines... Tark: Oh... Man: *looks at him quizzically* Tark: . . . Man: *relieved, he sits down* Ok... We've got a problem. Tark: Go on. Man: there is a transport we scanned containing tanks of Vortian Kraat Venom and crates of donut dough... Man: The scanners lost it when it entered the atmosphere... We need you to investigate. Man: Good. See that it is taken care of... *he leaves* Tark: Hmm....*Observes sandwhich and writes on a notepad* Tark: *Pulls calculator out of sandwhich* Eww... Tark: Donut batter, donut batter...*mumbling* Tark: So, you dunk donuts in hot sauce...*mumbling* Tark: Dunks...Dunk...Dunkz' donuts!*Leaves, and walks into Dunkz' donuts* Tark: *Walks up to counter* Clevi: What can I do for you..um, person? Tark: Well, Tark: A vortian ship was scanned with containing venon..and Doughnut batter. Dunkz: Hmm... I have ordered some batter, but no venom, certainly! They may have been carried in the same freighter.... Tark: Strange..well, can you give me the name of your supplier? Dunkz: Sure. Mistah battah, I believe.... Tark: Sounds rather unfamiliar...an Irken? Dunkz: Yeah.. It's a corporation. Based off of Donutbagia. Tark: Hmm...I'll have to pay them a visit. Tark: *leaves*Dunkz: Come back if ya need anything else! *yells after him*A teleporter beam shoots down, and takes Tark to a red Shuvver* Thresh: Welcome back. Did you meet the informant in time? Thresh: Good. Where do you need to go? Tark: Jink'z Groovey Grub. Thresh: Ok... Take this *passes him a tiny spy bug* and plant it in their kitchen somewhere. Crewman: Ready to beam back down? Tark: Yes. Tark: *Walks in* Jinkz: Tark... Jinkz: Welcome. Tark: Ooh...thank you. Tark: *Walks into a bathroom* Tark: *Goes into a stall, and puts on a food service drone outfit* Tark: *Comes out of bathroom, and walks into the kitchen**he sees Jinkz talking with a man in a cloak**the man turns to show his eye: five red dots ticking and spinning, and then he seems to evaporate* Jinkz: *Hypnotized by a red light coming from the man's eyes* I obey.. Man: Yesss.... *Disappears into thin air* Spy bug: *Records everything that just happened* Tark: *Makes a sandwhich in an attempt to look natural* Customer: Hey, can I get some service in this place?!?!? Hologram: Yes, what do you want? Customer: A double quarter pork mooshmah, and a side of shloopies. Hologram: Okay coming right up. *Switches to a hologram of a Food service drone making a sandwhich* Customer: *whistles* Hologram: *Gives him a holographic sandwhich* Customer: What the!?!? Ah, forget this! *walks across the street and into Dunkz' Donuts* Other customer: Ooh! My favorite! Hologram! Groot: Sir, who's the new gu......*sees Jinkz in a trancelike state in the kitchen* *meanwhile* King Nark:HAHAHA! This new television is perfect! Guard:Uhhhh Sir,that's a mirror to an alternate universe. Nark:SILENCE! VOMIT MUFFIN! *throws pizzia box at him* *Nark watches all this stuff happening* Nark:Interesting...I've been watching this channel for 2 years thinking it was a show.. *A figure appears behind him* Nark:We shall invade it! Man: *kills the guards silently* *Nark sits in his throne* Nark:Hmm....send some robot probes to their dimension. Guards:Umm we don't have a way to get to another dimension. Nark:THEN GO FIND OUT AND MAKE ONE! MUFFIN TOP! *throws soda bottle* *Nark takes out a picture of Fionna* *he hugs it softly* *there are red fionna flags all over the throne room,and "I OWN YOU" posters* *Back at the restraunt...* *The hologram turns into a hologram of Fionna* Tark: What the?! Groot: What the? *Nark laughs hysterically* Nark:Uh huhuhuh... Nark:Hehehehahaha! Nark:HehehehuhaHAHAHA Nark:AHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAEHEHEHAHAAAAAAAA NUHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *echo* Groot: Uhh... *Takes out a hot poker and stabs the hologram generator* *It shorts out* *the poster of fionna nark is holding dissappears* Nark:-_0? *meanwhile over foodcourtia* *a spark of eletricity forms in orbit over foodcourtia* Tark: *looks around to make sure nobody is looking, and grabs the spy bug* *the spark makes cracking noises* VIP VIP* *A teleporter brings Tark back up to Thresh's ship* *the spark rips up into a vortex,it hovers over foodcourtia* *a vortex opens up outside of Nark's palace* *Nark laughs again randomly* Nark:HEEHEH ..HEHEH...HEHAHAHA HEHEHEHOHEHEHAHAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *echo* *the camera zooms out of his palace* Nark:HEHEHAHAAAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHA *it zooms to conquered irk,giant fionna looking skyscrapers are everywhere* Thresh to Tark: What did you find? Thresh: Hmm... It looks like some kind of odd robot... thing... HEHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *manical music* *echo* Guards:Sir! A portal is outside of the palace! Nark:GREAT GALLOPING GALAXIES! Guards:We think it heads to the ...erm..."tv channel" universe. Nark:GREAT! Launch a ship to study ...whtever planet it leads to! Guards:Yes si- Nark:WAIT! You butfarts! *the robot guards turn around* Nark:I have to take a little nappy. Now please,get the glob out! *the guards scratch their heads and shrug* *they run to a diffirent room with treads* *nark yawns and sleeps in a pile of greasy AT comics,junk food,and fionna posters* *he uses sticky comic books as a blanket,and uses a chip bag as his pillow* *Back in Foodcourtia* Jinkz: Now to get back to work. Groot: Yessir! *walks up to the counter and starts taking orders* *Someone knocks on the back door* Jinkz: *Answers* *It is the CEO of Mistah Battah, the hooded man from earlier, and a few mysterious Irken guards* Battah: Hello... Jinkz: Hm? Battah: Your order has arrived... The, uh... Donut batter... *The guards and Mistah Battah have weird flashes coming from their eyes* Jinkz: Hm... Jinkz: *Is kept under their influence by the flashes* Battah: *flashes back and forth from himself to another Irken* Heh heh.... Battah: *Unloads two large containers out from the back of a ship* Battah: *leaves in the ship, but the guards stay* Guard: Do not leave here until commanded to. Jinkz: Yes... Guard: Alright, bring it in! *the guards bring out the two huge crates* Guard: The V will speak with you momentarily. Jinkz: The V...? Guard: Our master. Jinkz: What does V stand for? Guard: You are soon to find out who the V is. Bring him in! *A man steps out of the shadows, dressed in a black cloak* *One of the crates opens and a giant floating computer comes out* *A red light appears on the screen* Red light: I am Vasatox! *the man comes to stand next to the screen, his eye's five red lights surveying the place* *The guards are revealed to be Vasatox Attack Drones* Attack Drone: The greatest AI in the Universe! Vasatox: I must go back to the HQ now. Man: I will take over from here... Vasatox: Yes. *Goes back into crate* *Vira walks into the restaurant Vira: Um... *sees everyone standing there* Maybe I should come back later...I was just getting some lunch... Man: *eyes glow bright* No...Vira: ... Vira.... Come here.... Vira: Yes... *one of the panels on her head flashes bright red and she snaps out of the trance* NO! I WON'T DO ANYTHING! *she takes her rifle off her back and points it at him Man: Vira... I have a mission for you.... *His eyes start to spin, and her panels are rendered innert* Man: Vira... You haven't killed anyone in a while... You want to, do you not? *still hypnotizing her* Man: Tark... He impedes us... Kill him. Vira: Tark... Yes, I know of Tark... Where is Tark? Man: He is on this planet... Somewhere in this city, I assume... Vira: Yes... *draws knife* I will kill him... Where is he? Exact coordinates? Do you have them? Man: I have heard you have quite the reputation.... I think you can figure it out... Vira: Coordinates make it easier... But yes, I am amazing, and can figure it out. I'll be back. Part Two: The War Vira: *jumps into ship with Fury and flies away Vira: Where are you, Tark? Where are you? Attack Drone: *Goes back into guard disguise* *the man leads them back into the ship* Vira: FURY! Locate Target 80517, Tark! Fury: YES, MISTRESS! Thresh: Prepare the cloaking device, and prepare to go silent! Fury: Mistress, he's in space... With Thresh. Vira: Oh great, THRESH... I HATE Thresh... *the ship cloaks, and they lose the signal* Vira: Great, we lost the signal... Remember where it was? Fury: Mm... Yes. Thresh: Now, let's get out of here... Vira: Let's go! FIRE THE EMERGENCY THRUSTERS! *the ship starts to fly to one of Foodcourtia's moons* *The ship shoots into almost-hyperspace and docks with it before they know what happened* In the backround a swirling vortex is seen* *it's near foodcourtia's moon* Thresh: Lock the doors, and I want troops at every entrance to this bridge! Soldier: YESSIR! *all the doors close* Thresh: And destroy that ship! *Her PAK legs come out and she runs to the bridge, blowing up doors as she goes along, Fury following Crewman: *fires at the Bloodshed* *the ship's shields go up, and they can't blow it up Thresh: Tark, are you ready for battle? Tark: Yes, sir. Vira: Fury, go ahead and kill all the guards you see! Fury: YES, MISTRESS! Thresh: *pulls out his handguns* *fury runs ahead, spikes coming out of his knuckles and saws and spikes come out of his back *Ion cannons come out of his shoulders Guard: YOU! *starts shooting at him* Tark: *Takes out laser pistol* Fury: YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY MISTRESS, THRESH! Thresh: *walks up to Vira* What are you doing on my ship? Tark: YEAH, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING KILLING PEOPLE?! Thresh: You will be court marshaled for sure, and- *sees a strange red swirl in her eye, but it soon disappears* *Thresh: *pulls out a gun, and goes up on his PAK legs* Vira: *draws knife* I'm not part of your squad anymore. I'm independent, and the Tallest approved. You can't court marshal me. Thresh: Yes, but you are still part of the Empire. Vira: why would you court marshal me? Tark: You don't have a right to break into places and kill people, you know. *places Thresh: Precisely. *Thresh shoots Vira in the chest with his gun, and she falls over* *Just then, LIR pops through a portal as if on cue* LIR: Hi. Thresh: Tark, round up some guards and drag her sorry body to the brig. Tark: *Places the rope ejecting device on Vira, and it ties her up Thresh: *turns on LIR* What are you doing here? Tark: *Goes to get soldiers* LIR: Uhh. *looks around* *LIR: I.. visited? Thresh: We are in the middle of a crisis. Please leave. *Thresh: *ushers to a row of escape pods* Vira: *coughs* Thresh, I hate you... But this is even worse than everything... Else... LIR: Sheesh. Pushy. *walks into a closet instead* Tark: *Comes back with five soldiers* Tark: *Picks up Vira, and walks to the brig* Thresh: *to Vira* Tell that to the two dozen soldiers you killed today. *throws Vira into a cell* LIR: *in the closet* Whew. It's stuffy in here. *6:36 INVADER VEX *Thresh hits Vira really hard in the side of the head with his gun, and she gets knocked out Thresh: traitor scum. Now, let's figure out why Jinkz ordered donut dough and toxins... Tark, what did you learn? Tark: Well, it appears some kinda of robot..thing.. Or, I dunno... Cyborg? is pulling the strings. Thresh: Robot thing... Perhaps its influence was why Vira didn't remember killing all those men... She could have been hypnotized... Vira: *moans* Tark: Possibly..but you know, we can't really tell with the person. She does stuff like that all the time. Thresh: True, but she usually takes pride in killing... That sick little wretch... Vira: *twitches* No, no... Go away... Stay back... Or... I'll break your neck... * thrashes around* Thresh: We'll have to get her to court sometime, but for now, we have a mission. Tark, you and Crux go investigate. Tark: Yes sir. Vira: STOP! STOP! NO, GO AWAY!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! *screams as loud as she can, though still asleep* Thresh: ...Crux should be in the mess hall. Go get him and take a spittle runner down there. Tark: *Nods and walks to the mess hall Crux: *is eating a sandwich* LIR: *walks back out of the closet* Crux: *sees Tark* Hello, Tark. I heard the commander has a mission for us? Tark: Yes. Crux: Good. Well, what are we waiting for? *walks to the hangar* Tark: There's this situation with, donuts and toxic acid and..eh, I'll explain later. We have to go to foodcourtia. Tark: *Follows* Crux: Alright. Sounds fun. *opens the hatch to a Spittle Runner* where are we headed? Tark: Foodcourtia. Crux: Yes, but that is a whole planet. What part of Foodcourtia? Tark: Jinkz' groovey grub or whatever it's called. It seems to be the source. Crux: Okay. *flies to the JGG Crux: We'd better ditch the uniforms. They'll see us a mile away in these. Tark: Yeah.. *Crux takes off his combat uniform in favor of a standard Irken shirt* Tark: *Replaces uniform with an old invader uniform from this PAK* Crux: *walks into Jinkz' Groovy Grub and orders a sandwich* Tark: *Follows into the restaurant, but just looks around awkwardly Crux: *whisper* Okay, Tark. We need to get into the kitchen. And for that we need JGG uniforms. Tark: How do we get those? *Whisper* Crux: There should be a crew quarters with extra uniforms. Hmmm... *looks around the room, and sees a door reading "STAFF ONLY"* Crux: That might be it. *points to the door* Tark: *whisper* You know, if we wore our uniforms, we could probably just barge in there.. Crux: and scare off the target in the process... Tark: *Whisper* Yeah, true... Crux: *sneaks into the employee quarters and puts on a really old, greasy uniform* Tark: *Walks into the qauters, and puts on another uniform* Crux: Okay. Act like an under educated food server, and we should be fine... Tark: Ugh...these things are like, 1000 years old.. *A worker is watching them* Worker: Yeah.. Crux: Hmm... *walks over, and looks at the worker* Worker: You get used to it. Crux: Hey friend... We're new here... Could you show us around? Worker: *smiles at Crux knowingly* *The big crate is still there, only now shut*] Tark: *Squints at the worker, in suspicion* Worker: Oh! Uh... To where, exactly? Crux: Oh, we were wondering if you could give us the run-through.. Perhaps the kitchen would be the place to start? Worker: Oh.. Uh.. Sure.. *walks over to the kitchen* Tark: *Follows* Worker: Uh.. *gestures to a weird device* This.. is.. a.. Machine. It's known for it's machiney-ness. Tark: *Whispers to Crux* This guy doesn't know anything...I think he's bad news.. Worker: Uhh. I didn't read the manual yet. Worker: *stares at Tark and smiles* Crux: great, great. What's that? *points to the huge crate* Worker: Oh. That's a crate. Don't know where it came from. Crux: *whispers to Tark* This guy is useless... *looks around to see three security cameras* Worker: And, if you'll follow me in here.. *walks into a further back room labelled "STORAGE" Crux: *whispers to Tark* Take care of those cameras and I'll get into that crate. Tark: *whispers to Crux* He would know something if he actaully worked here...I think he's either on to us, or a spy.. Tark: *Walks over to the camera, and screws it open, revealing wires* Worker: Well, stop your whispering! I'm gonna tell you about the storage in the Storage Room! That would make sense, right? Crux: *whispers to Tark* Get rid of those, fast. Tark: *Cuts the wires with a knife* Tark: *Does the same for the rest of the cameras* Crux: Go on about the storage, then... Worker: Well, i was gonna say i'm.. well.. it's complicated.. Crux: *pulls out a small transmitter from the worker's hat and crushes it* Yes, please speak... Tark: *Finishes cutting the last camera* *Crux puts a gun to the worker's head* Worker: Oh. That transmitter was a fake. Tark: *Walks over to them* I'm done with th-HA! I KNEW IT! Worker: Hm? Worker: No, it was plastic.. Crux: Hmm.... *takes him in a headlock* Who are you and what do you know? Worker: I got it on Irk Day *begins to cry* Tark: I doubt that's a thing.. Crux: *Squeezes his throat* TALK! NOW! Worker: *stops crying instantly* Well, i'm a puppet being controlled by a dimension-travelling SIR unit that wants to help. Crux: *Snaps his neck, and he falls over dead* LIR: *pops out of a ceiling panel* I could release his mind right now and he'd call for help. Crux: We don't need help... Tark: Especially from a pysco that thinks he's a puppet. LIR: *drops onto Crux's head* JERKY! Crux: Shut up! This is a covert mission! LIR: Well, hello there. And i don't care.. I want to help! *Crux sees a small set of five red lights in the corner, they whir and spin* Crux: *pulls a gun out* LIR: I was waiting for you to kill him. Tark: Meh...he's a SIR unit, a piece of hardware. Just ignore him. LIR: *jumps onto the worker, rips off an arm, and takes a bite out of it* Crux: *to LIR* Shut up! *points to the lights* LIR: *bites off more of the arm* Ooh. Red lights. Fascinating *sarcastically* Crux: What are you? You... Thing? *to the lights* *they hear evil laughter* Tark: AH! IT'S THE FUGITIVE SIR UNIT! Tark: WE GOTTA TIE HIM UP AND TURN HIM IN! LIR: *holds the bleeding arm up to Tark* You want a bite? Tark:EWW! LIR: Eh. It's delicious *eats the rest of it* Lights: Fools... You are all doomed... My plan will NOT fail... *Vasatox Attack Drones barge in* LIR: Why won't it fail? Lights: BECAUSE MY SECRET DIES WITH YOU! Lights: DRONES! KILL THEM NOW! LIR: Oh. Hi! *waves to a drone* Crux: *bursts into action, shooting down drones and jumping up on top of boxes* Tark: *Pulls out laser gun, and shoots some of the drones* *Takes cover behind a box* *The crate opens up, revealing the transmission of Vasatox* LIR: *transforms his hands into claws and slices off the head of a drone* *A short Irken with a cyborg eye and arm is lit up by the laserfire, and the small lights seem to be part of his eye* Irken: HAAAHAHAHAHAAHAAA! Tark: ....This is weird ._. Tark: *Shoots some drones* *the Irken starts to escape* LIR: This is going to be FUN!! *growls and massacres some drones* Crux: we can't let them box us in! Tark: *Rolls to another box and shoots more drones* Crux: We need to blast a line through the drones! Tark: ...Wait, we can't let them what? Crux: If we get cornered here, we're dead! LIR: GRAVY!!! *punches a drone in the leg* Crux: NOW! PUSH FORWARD! Tark:*Moves from box to box, shooting drones* *Crux pushes a crate of oil into the drones, shoots it, and a group explodes* LIR: *is headshotting the drones with his food gun, firing ballistic truffles* Crux: NOW! RUN! LIR: *runs* *Crux slides under the drones and out the door* Tark: *Runs, using the lid of a box as a shield, and barges out the door* LIR: *simply runs through the door* Crux: *locks the door behind them* Vasatox: FILTHY IRKENS. YOU SHALL NEVER ESCAPE US. ALL YOU FILTHY FLESHY CREATURES WILL BURN. MACHINES WI- *door seals* *They see the Irken running into a ship* Tark: So there's a robot guy and a short guy..I don't understand any of this.. Crux: Yeah... LIR: I think they're fun to kill! Crux: YOU! *points over-dramatically at LIR* Stay here and guard this door. We can't let that army of drones out of the restaurant. LIR: *overly excited* M-hmm!! *readies himself* Crux: Tark, we need to get to that Irken. Tark: Well, yes......*PAK legs come out* Shouldn't be too hard to catch.. Crux: *runs out of the building and sees the ship overhead, heading to Dunkz' Donuts* LIR: WHAHGHAHGHE *mows down a bunch of drones with semi-automatic truffles Tark: It's heading toward the donut place. If we climb to the top of it, we should be able to catch him. Crux: Alright, let's go! *runs down a street and jumps up onto a dumpster and onto a restaurant roof* Tark: *follows Crux* Crux: *Uses PAK Legs to jump over onto the side of Dunkz' Donuts and climbs up the side just as the ship passes overhead* Crux: *leaps onto the belly of the ship and lowers a cable for Tark to grab before the ship leaves* Crux: Grab on! Tark: *Grabs on* *The cable starts to retract, and they both end up on the top of the ship* Crux: Whoa! Hold on! Tark: *Grabs onto a ship antenna* *Crux makes his way to the landing ramp of the ship* Tark: *Follows* Crux: We have to take this guy down before he does... Whatever he's up to! Crux: *lays explosive tape on the door, and climbs to the side of the ship, holding a detonator Tark: It involves snake venom...you could do a lot of bad stuff with it. *Follows* Crux: You might want to cover your ears. *he hits the detonator, and the door is blown in with a loud bang* Crux: GO GO GO! Tark: *Runs into the door* Crux: *swings in* Crux: *points his gun at the Irken* Crux: You! Hand over the controls! Tark: *GASP* It's..it's...who is it? Irken: *turns around, showing his face* FOOLS! I AM THE ALL POWERFUL KNOX!!! Crux: ... Is that supposed to mean something? I said hand over the controls! Tark: *Pulls out laser gun* Knox: Not likely. *two electrostatic pikes come down on each of their heads, and they are shocked* Knox: Don't worry. It'll only hurt for twenty two minutes. Tark: AGGGH JSPSPPSZZZOPF Crux:AGGH! *grabs Knox's leg and pulls him to the ground, causing the ship to lose control* Tark: AGH...*Crawls to the ship's controls* Knox: HAH! YOU FAIL, LITTLE SOLDIERS! *they see the ship primed to explode* Tark: You'll die from that too, you idiot! Crux: RRgh... *struggles to pin Knox to the ground* Turn it off! It'll rain the venom down onto the whole city! Knox: GREAT, ISN'T IT! HaaaAHAHAHaaHHA Tark: And what do you get from that, you weirdo? Knox: I don't, but my employer does, and he payed handsomely! *Knox bites Crux, and he is flung out into the atmosphere through the open door* Knox: HAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa! *he disappears from sight* Tark: *Slides into the ship's storage room or whatever* Crux: We need to steer the ship into space to get rid of the payload, but we'll die if we leave the atmosphere... Crux: *fiddles with the controls until the ship is locked heading strait up into space* Tark: Yeah, but a lot more than us will die otherwise. We've got no other choice. Crux: Yeah. It's been an honor serving with you, Tark. Tark: Well, same to you. Goodbye..er, probably goodbye, but.. *Crux starts to overload the engines, making the ship go insanely fast into space* Crux: *Rrrggghhh! Tark: *Grabs a venom box with PAK legs* Tark: *Prepares to throw it out* *The ship leaves the atmosphere* Tark: *Starts throwing venom boxes with PAK legs once they reach space* *The engines die, and the ship starts to die out and plummet to the surface* Crux: We got all the venom out? Tark: *Finishes throwing them out* Yes.. Crux: Then we need to destroy the ship before it hits the surface! *he starts overloading the core* Tark: *Does the same* Crux: *spots two parachutes* Crux: TARK! *points to the parachutes* Crux: *crawls over and straps one on* Tark: *Puts one on* *Crux jumps out of the ship* *There is apprantly one box left, and it slams into Tark* Tark: *is pushed into space along with the box* Crux: TARK! Crux: *starts descending to the surface of the planet in his parachute* Tark.... *he loses sight of Tark* Tark: *is evidently gone* *the ship explodes a minute from hitting the ground* *Crux lands on the ground as well* *Tark's parachute falls to the ground next to him* Crux: Tark... Crux: *transmission to Thresh* Sir... The mission is complete... Epilogue A small grey and gold ship leaves the surface of the pink planet known as Foodcourtia. The pilot, a small Irken rogue scientist named Knox, knows what he's looking for. It's a chemical that, if dispersed over Foodcourtia as was his plan, would have made his mission all too easy... If it hadn't been for those Irken elites... Well, reminiscing would not help him... A small red and green object floating near a yellow container comes alongside the starboard side of the small ship, and Knox knows that he's found what he needs... After searching his own and several other universes, he had what remained of his supply... Known merely as a snake's venom, this chemical was a catalyst for his most powerful discovery ever. Knox walks down to the hangar fully expecting to find a dead Irken elite and his venom box, the first of the two mangled, dead, and disfigured by the vacuum of space, and this is what he finds. Knox soon carries away the crate, forgetting about the mangled body of Tark. Left alone in the dark, the crippled Irken Elite starts to gasp for air. Characters/Credits Frylord Dunkz-Played by Invader Vex Food Service Drone Clark-Played by Invader Jib Clevi-Played by Invader Jib Frylord Jinkz-Played by Invader Vax Food Service Drone Kobob-Played by Invader Vax Irken Elite Tark-Played by Invader Jib Vira-Played by Invader Ark Nark-Played by Lurk Commander Thresh-Played by Invader Vex Food Service Drone Groot-Played by Invader Vex LIR-Played by LIR Category:Roleplays Category:Stories Category:Irken Conquest Category:Season 1 Category:Episodes Category:Fanon